Once I gather my thoughts, I'll let you in on some "behind the scenes" stories when I served as DA over the last eight years. Until then, I am disturbed by....

• Weathermen who are overweight and have an air of self-importance.
• The obscene rear window emblem of the cartoon character Calvin doing you-know-what to a Ford/Chevy symbol.
• Finding myself in the right hand lane at a red light when, although I intend to go straight, I know the person(s) behind me are dying to make a right hand turn.
• Randy Galloway. What used to be fresh is now tired.
• Hotel phone rates.
• Good looking women with ugly guys.
• Mildly attractive women with ugly guys.
• How people forget that John Wayne was an actor who typically acted as if he were a cowboy.
• The ridiculous overuse of the term "Nazi Drug Lab".
• Paying $1.09 for a bottle of coke at a convenience store.
• The ringing of a cell phone in a restaurant.
• Having to stop and get gas on the way to work.
• John Madden.
• The number of time-outs called during the last two minutes of any NCAA basketball game.
• The amount of time allocated to weather during any newscast.
• Kathie Lee Gifford.
• Strom Thurmond.
• State Representative Jane Nelson.
• State Representative Jane Nelson's hair.
• Jane Nelson's proposed bill that would make having an open container of alcohol in a vehicle illegal unless you are in a limosine.
• That Jane Nelson thinks Texas needs a law that will outlaw human cloning.
• Having to drive to Northeast Mall.
• Ed Belfour.
• How no one seems to know how to memorize a five minute speech (see Chris Wenke at the Heisman Trophy awards and Robert Ray announcing that Bill Clinton will not be indicted).
• George W. Bush groupie Karen Hughes.
• George P. Bush's love of the camera.
• WFAA's John McKay.
• Rain in the winter.
• How everyone loves Jimmy Johnson but forget that he tried to draft LB James Francis only to have to "settle" for Emmitt Smith when the deal fell through.
• Elizabeth Taylor.
• Mel Gibson.
• Bush's reading of a speech as though it was written by someone else - which it was. (Stole this one from Newsweek).
• How the Connally Seven tried to be the biggest band of outlaws in the last 100 years only to end up in .... a Holiday Inn.
• Who Wants To Be A Millionare
• Troy Aikman
• The War on Drugs.
• The amount of camera time desired by the widow and mother of slain Irving police officer Aubrey Hawkins.
• Bryant Gumbel.
• The phrase "If you don't like Texas weather, just wait a minute".
• The contract of Alex Rodriguez.
• The existence of pennies.
• Emimem.
• Jim Carrey.
• People that chew out a waitress.
• The long traffic light at the intersection of 297 and Business 380 (the McDonald's intersection in Decatur).
• Mack Brown.
• The "In The Hospital" section of the Wise County Messenger Update.
• Wheel of Fortune.