The Spin
A tongue in cheek review of the news published this week regarding Wise County.
Normally posted every Sunday around 10:00 p.m.
(Note: To make sure you are receiving the most recent update, hold down the "Shift" key while you click on reload/refresh).
For the week ending 3/26/05:

The Story A man receives the maximum sentence (99 years on one count and 20 years on a lesser count) from a Wise County jury for sexual assault of a child.
News worthiness (on a scale of 0 to 5) ****
The Spin But the jury was deadlocked 11-1 on whether to lynch him on the courthouse lawn.  [Amendment: News from the Messenger's Update  makes this Spin, which was written before the news broke, a tad creepy].

The Story A party in Cottondale leaves three people stabbed with one of them receiving a wound to the buttocks.  The assailant remains unidentified.
News worthiness **
The Spin "We're baffled at this point," said one unidentified police officer. "We gone over the RSVP list several times without success and the invitation specifically said 'no weapons'. But we're not giving up - the fact that we are dealing with a buttock stabber means he's dangerous."

The Story Static electricity starts a fire at a gas pump at the In and Out store in Alvord.
News worthiness ***
The Spin The pump was ruined, the vehicle was inoperable, and a whole gallon of expensive gasoline was lost forever.

The Story Subway Sandwiches announces plans to build a restaurant in Chico.
News worthiness ****
The Spin "We know it's gonna be tough to compete with corn dogs and chimichangas from Chico Mart and we're not sure how our Sweet Onion Teriyaki Chicken is gonna sell, but we'll give it a shot," said one fictitious company spokesman.

The Story In a stunning move, Decatur High School girls basketball coach Rene Hanebutt calls is quits after three years, two district championships.  She has no coaching job planned for next year.  She allegedly told her players that she was "forced out" but school officials deny this.
News worthiness ***
The Spin Would someone, anywhere, please tell us what the heck is going on here? Because something crazy is definitely going on.

See something in the local papers that struck you funny?  Then suggest a topic for The Spin.

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