The Story | A
man receives the maximum sentence (99 years on one count and 20 years
on a lesser count) from a Wise County jury for sexual assault of a
child. |
News worthiness (on a scale of 0 to 5) | **** |
The Spin | But the jury was deadlocked
11-1 on
whether to lynch him on the courthouse lawn. [Amendment: News
from the Messenger's Update
makes this Spin, which was
written before the news broke, a tad creepy]. |
The Story | A
party in Cottondale leaves three people stabbed with one of them
receiving a wound to the buttocks. The assailant remains
unidentified. |
News worthiness | ** |
The Spin | "We're
baffled at this point," said one unidentified police officer. "We gone
over the RSVP list several times without success and the invitation
specifically said 'no weapons'. But we're not giving up - the fact that
we are dealing with a buttock stabber means he's dangerous." |
The Story | Static electricity starts a fire
at a gas pump at the In and Out store in Alvord. |
News worthiness | *** |
The Spin | The pump was ruined, the
vehicle was inoperable, and a whole gallon of expensive gasoline was
lost forever. |
The Story | Subway Sandwiches announces plans
to build a restaurant in Chico. |
News worthiness | **** |
The Spin | "We
know it's gonna be tough to compete with corn dogs and chimichangas
from Chico Mart and we're not sure how our Sweet Onion Teriyaki Chicken
is gonna sell, but we'll give it a shot," said one fictitious company
spokesman. |
The Story | In
a stunning move, Decatur High School girls basketball coach Rene
Hanebutt calls is quits after three years, two district
championships. She has no coaching job planned for next
year. She allegedly told her players that she was "forced out"
but school officials deny this. |
News worthiness | *** |
The Spin | Would someone, anywhere,
please tell us what the heck is going on here? Because something crazy
is definitely going on. |