A (sometimes) tongue in cheek review of the news published this week regarding Wise County.
Normally posted every Sunday around 6:00 p.m.

For the week ending 5/6/00:

The Story Decatur learns that it will be financially responsible for moving its main water supply line along highway 380 to make way for expansion of the highway. Decatur claims that in 1965 it placed the line, in a working agreement with the State, 35 feet from the center of the current row so that it would be safely in the median in the event the road was ever expanded. The project is estimated to cost $3 million dollars.
News worthiness (on a scale of 0 to 5) ****
The Spin We suggest keeping the line where it is an expanding the highway on the opposite side of line, but we suspect there's a good reason this is not being considered. Nevertheless, where ever the line is placed, The Spin suggests putting it in a location acceptable (in writing) to the State so that in thirty five years the city will not be called upon to move it again at a cost of $20 million.

The Story The "I Love You" computer virus, that looks in an infected computer's email address book and then sends itself to all of the addresses it finds, fails to strike Wise County.
News worthiness ***
The Spin We call it "Virus Alienation Depression Syndrome": the realization that your email address is in so few address books that even a world wide virus doesn't cause you to receive one. 

The Story Bob Forbau writes a letter to the editor alerting us that  "Congress is about to pass legislation that will federalize every local school district and end local and state control of America's public schools." He even suggests a book depicting the evils of the Federal Department of Education that even a "retarded moron" could understand.
News worthiness *
The Spin Why is it that every time we hear some horror story regarding what Congress is "about to" do, the Alarmist never bothers to tell us the applicable House Bill or Senate Bill number? Then again, maybe he thinks we're not smart enough to handle the information.

The Story The Messenger's Tyrell Albin writes about his experience of running out of gas in Bridgeport at 3:30 a.m. and then, get this, walking to Runaway Bay while trying to hitch a ride.
News worthiness ****
The Spin Pretty funny stuff. Our favorite lines: (1) "[I'm] about 100 pounds too fat to be hitchhiking. Pretty girls can always get a ride. Three hundred pound guys with bad haircuts rarely get a lift", and (2) "This is the second time in my life I've had to resort to the 'Thumb Method', and while it wasn't nearly as bad as the first . . . it still sucked."  (By the way, we believe this is the first time that the word "sucked" has been included in the Wise County Messenger.)

The Story Gary Green of Slidell writes a letter to editor condemning teachers for teaching  that the Civil War was about slavery when the real source of the war was "over land and money" as well as the the industrialization of the North.
News worthiness *
The Spin Every time someone tries to minimize slavery's role in the Civil War, they also tend to make additional statements that generally make The Spin a bit uncomfortable. Case in point is another sentence in this same letter: "In schools . . .  we even have a whole month of February dedicated to black history (which has nothing to do with my children)". 

The Story "Storm blows down trees, knocks out power"
News worthiness *
The Spin Pretty much a normal storm, but it was worth the front page coverage for this gem from Wise County Emergency Management Coordinator Max Moore: "The fire departments handled this really well. You can't replace those guys. They are out there when everyone else is in the fraidy hole". The Spin intends to get one of those installed this week. 

The Story Wise County Home and and Lawn Show was held Saturday and Sunday at the Sheriff's Posse Grounds.
News worthiness ***
The Spin Two items that do not go together: (1) 90 degree temperatures and (2) the show being held in the  un-air conditioned "Rabbit Barn". 

See something in the local papers that struck you funny?  Then suggest a topic for The Spin.

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