A tongue in cheek review of the news published this week regarding Wise County.
Normally posted every Sunday around 10:00 p.m.
(Note: To make sure you are receiving the most recent update, hold down the "Shift" key while you click on reload/refresh).
For the week ending 05/25/02:

The Story Decatur ISD announces it will probably run a deficit in connection with next year's budget. Supt. J.D. Kennedy "attributed the loss to a flat student growth rate this year. . . ."
News worthiness  (on a scale of 0 to 5) **
The Spin How many years have been hearing "growth is coming, growth is coming"?

The Story The new tax reappraisals land in the mail causing shock to most recipients. The taxable property value for Decatur ISD went from $639 million to $710 million.
News worthiness **
The Spin Didn't we read something about a budget deficit somewhere?

The Story The DA and Rhome PD take shots at one another after Rhome Police Officer Daniel Flores records a conversation he had with the DA in the DA's office. 
News worthiness *
The Spin There's a lot of secret recording going on these days.

The Story The Dallas Observer runs a story on former Wise County Attorney Stephen Hale. 
News worthiness ***
The Spin The story has so many gems:
1. On smoking pot during his military service, "It made being a soldier a lot easier to take."
2. On why his job as a bartender didn't work out in Galveston: "Because I am bald and ugly."
3. His campaign bumper sticker for Harris County DA: "Decriminalize marijuana. Vote Stephen Hale for District Attorney"
4. On why he was unsuccessful for his bid as DA in Galveston County: "It's hard building a constituency out of old stoners. They just forget to vote."

The Story It's graduation week, so lets look at the favorite movies as listed by the members of the "All Academic Team"
News worthiness *
The Spin
  • The Lion King
  • Princell Monohoke (winner for "most obscure film since it is not listed in the IMDB.com")
  • Mary Poppins
  • Cruel Intentions (winner for "movie most unlike Mary Poppins")
  • Star Wars and Top Gun (winner for "movies most likely to be nominated by folks that don't get to see many movies")
  • National Lampoon's Van Wilder (winner for "most unlikely choice for favorite movie")
  • Fight Club (not to be mistaken with a video of the Decatur brouhaha after last year's powder puff football game)
  • Rebel Without a Cause
  • Memento (good flick)
  • Armageddon (winner of "most unlikely movie to be referenced in any commencement speech")
  • Sound of Music (winner of "most comforting movie to see nominated as judged by the parents of the graduates")
  • Gladiator (2 votes) (winner of "proof that seeing heads lopped off will not prevent your teenager from being on the All Academic team")

Special Highly Technical Research Project to be Conducted Throughout 2002: 
 New This Week
Year To Date
Number of new births announced in the Wise County Messenger
Number of new births announced by parents with different surnames (or no father identified): 
5 (36%) 
69 (33%)

See something in the local papers that struck you funny?  Then suggest a topic for The Spin.

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