Wise County on the Web

A tongue in cheek review of the news published this week regarding Wise County.
Normally posted every Sunday before 10:00 p.m. unless I'm lazy.
(Note: To make sure you are receiving the most recent update, hold down the "Shift" key while you click on reload/refresh).
For the week ending 7/19/08
This Week's Overall News Theme: Server Crash. Update Denied. County Freaks.

The Story
)News worthiness (1 to 5)	*******
The Spin	Let's see if they have any distinguishing characteristics from the general Wise County population. Guy in tank top, cap, and tattoos? Nope. Girl in jeans with a top so short that her belly hangs over? Nope. This one is going to tough to solve.

The Story
News worthiness	*******
The Spin	Odds of new management promising there will be no changes: 100%. Odds of new management making changes: 100%.

The Story	The Messenger's Robert Morgan stops writing about his miraculous weight loss stories after receiving a letter from a guy in Boyd (who probably is fat - but that would be mean of me to say, so I won't.)
News worthiness	*******
The Spin	I'm so depressed I'm eating a gallon of Blue Bell in Robert Morgan's honor. Which is probably just plain wrong.

The Story	Decatur High School has a new principal who has experience, in part. of teaching at an elementary school in Euless.
News worthiness	**
The Spin	"I look forward to working in a district that doesn't have all those tricked up Tongan names," said the Fake Jason Cochran.

The Story	The Messenger reports the untimely death* of photographer Joe Duty as a water balloon accidentally discharged during a "Here Comes Reunion" photoshoot causing his telephoto lens to become a flying projectile. The last photographic evidence, surely to become a collector's item, is below:
News worthiness	*
The Spin

*This is obviously a joke. Unless he was killed. In which case you heard it here first.

See something in the local papers that struck you funny? Then suggest a topic for The Spin.

Last Week's Issue
Full Archive List