A tongue in cheek review of the news published this week regarding Wise County.
Normally posted every Sunday around 10:00 p.m.
(Note: To make sure you are receiving the most recent update, hold down the "Shift" key while you click on reload/refresh).
For the week ending 07/27/02:

The Story A three year old drowns at Lake Bridgeport.  A shocked family, that spoke no English, huddled at the local Decatur hospital. "The hospital  . . . did not have any bi-lingual grief counselors on hand to speak with the family. They were left to comfort each other."
News worthiness  (on a scale of 0 to 5) ***
The Spin No one at the hospital spoke Spanish?

The Story Four members of a Paradise family were killed in a traffic accident on 114. The sole surviving family member "was driving behind them when their vehicle was struck."
News worthiness ****
The Spin By far the most tragic event of the year.

The Story An asbestos scare in the district courtroom may shut down the courthouse. 
News worthiness *
The Spin Public officials immediately began researching whether they can take a week off every year in order to have a taxpayer funded governmental holiday called "Asbestos Awareness Week."

The Story Back page ad in the Messenger in the Thursday edition was purchased by the IGA Foodliner in Boyd and proclaimed "We're proud to be back in service." (The store had to be rebuilt after the roof collapsed several months back.)
News worthiness *
The Spin Same newspaper, same edition, page 11A headline: "Fire in freezer temporarily shuts down Boyd IGA". (We are not making this up).

The Story New Messenger reporter Michelle Wilson gets welcomed to The Spin because of this observation: "The [Wise County] reunion is a total breakdown of the social hierarchy of [Decatur]. Usually, in most cities, the public figures or elected officials are at the top of the hierarchy then doctors, lawyers, and professionals and finally come the common people who work hard for their money. Somehow  . . .  they really never mingle in public, but once the reunion comes around, all the social stigma gets left in the city."
News worthiness *
The Spin If I'm the "common man" and the only time the "top hierarchy" gives me the time of day is after a six pack at reunion, I think I'd pass and take my stigma home to my family.
Special Highly Technical Research Project to be Conducted Throughout 2002: 
 New This Week
Year To Date
Number of new births announced in the Wise County Messenger
Number of new births announced by parents with different surnames (or no father identified): 
3 (33%) 
97 (32%)

See something in the local papers that struck you funny?  Then suggest a topic for The Spin.

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