Wise County on the Web

A tongue in cheek review of the news published this week regarding Wise County.
Normally posted every Sunday around 10:00 p.m.
(Note: To make sure you are receiving the most recent update, hold down the "Shift" key while you click on reload/refresh).
For the week ending 08/17/02:

The Story	The City of Decatur contemplates reviving the old "Eighter From Decatur" slogan.
News worthiness (on a scale of 0 to 5)	*
The Spin	Bumper stickers are being printed that read: "Eighter From Decatur . . . We Have No Idea What That Means, But Come Spend Money Here Anyway."

The Story	The Messenger skewers JP Clay Poynor for holding a closed door hearing in connection with the seizure of some starved horses found within the county. "Poynor's actions were simply wrong - and scary," the editorial read.
News worthiness	**
The Spin	Next time the horses will simply appear with blue dots over their faces.

The Story	City of Rhome Police Chief Tony White resigns to take over the Sansom Park police force. In reviewing his accomplishments, White pointed out that he was responsible for writing an application for a federal grant that paid for most, if not all, of the city's police officers. "The city was supposed to pick up the wages for the officers once the grants ran out but was unable to do so."
News worthiness	*
The Spin	Can a town take thousands of dollars from a federal grant with the promise that it will keep the police department positions permanently funded and then simply back out of the deal without penalty? This is compassionate conservatism.

The Story	Politicians begin to come out of the woodwork. State Rep. Rick Hardcastle spoke in Runaway Bay saying that "It's going to be an exciting [legislative] session. There are five or six jerks and five or six rich guys who don't know how to make a living. Other than that, it's a citizen legislature down there."
News worthiness	**
The Spin	The legislature will convene in the nearest Walmart in Austin to better reflect its makeup. The rich guys complain that they won't be able to find it. The jerks will have no such problem.

The Story	Commissioners balk at a $200 a month salary for the Juvenile Justice Board. "I'm sorry, these people are well paid," said Commissioner Mike Richardson. "[T]hose are the highest paid positions in the county," added James Hubbard.
News worthiness	*
The Spin	The Political Action Committee named "Regular Guys That Support the Common Man Who Could Really Use $200 A Month To Pay Bills Because This Economy Is Really Kicking My Butt" immediately held a parade in honor of the commissioners.

**Special Highly Technical Research Project to be Conducted Throughout 2002:**
	New This Week	Year To Date
Number of new births announced in the Wise County Messenger	12	344
Number of new births announced by parents with different surnames (or no father identified):	6 (50%)	111 (32%)

See something in the local papers that struck you funny? Then suggest a topic for The Spin.

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