| The Story | A Decatur dachshund name Axle won first place in a North Texas competition to determine the fastest dog at Billy Bob's honky-tonk in Fort Worth. "I kept telling him 'You are going to win,' but I really didn't think we'd win," said owner Krisha Hestaeande. |
| News worthiness (on a scale of 0 to 5) | * |
| The Spin | Axle, understanding his owner was pessimistic, hedged his bets by ordering a round of Coors Light for his competitors moments before the race began. |
| The Story | A letter to the editor is written to the Messenger by a gal whose brother was walloped in a recent Decatur football game. This prompted Robert Guenther ("a former high school and college football player") to write this response: "[D]epending on the severity of the hit, [a player] may get up or you may not. That's just the way it is!" |
| News worthiness | * |
| The Spin | Easy there, big fella. These are just kids playing a game on Friday nights. |
| The Story | Decatur continues to clean up from the tornado. |
| News worthiness | ** |
| The Spin | We couldn't help but notice that Sunday's Messenger had an ad for "Keep Safe of Texas" which specializes in "tornado safe rooms". God bless the right to make a buck. |
| The Story | Two men who had escaped from the Grayson County Jail were apprehended near Forestburg on Sunday night after one of the men shot the other one in the belly for an undetermined reason. |
| News worthiness | * |
| The Spin | Forestburg school officials called off classes for the following day. (We are not making this up). |
| The Story | Four "eight liners" were removed from Boyd Kwik Stop by the Wise County Sheriff's Office. The owner of the store was named Asif Mohammad and the manager was Ahmed Mithani. |
| News worthiness | ** |
| The Spin | Both men immediately took measures to change their names to Jim Bob and Bubba in order to avoid future government scrutiny. |