A tongue in cheek review of the news published this week regarding Wise County.
Normally posted every Sunday around 10:00 p.m.
(Note: To make sure you are receiving the most recent update, hold down the "Shift" key while you click on reload/refresh).
For the week ending 12/21/02:

The Story A terrible accident on 114 takes the lives of three Paradise residents.
News worthiness  (on a scale of 0 to 5) ****
The Spin An incredible tragedy captured by amazing photos by Messenger photographer Joe Duty. 

The Story Police investigate the shotgun deaths Janet Powers and Robert Powers that occurred days apart in Bridgeport.  Police suspect suicide.
News worthiness **
The Spin Not that we've ever contemplated suicide, but a shotgun death is at the bottom of our list of feasible suicide methods.

The Story Christmas break arrives with only Boyd and Bridgeport ISD refusing to shut down due to the flu bug.
News worthiness **
The Spin "I don't care how many of our children get sick, we're going to prove were tougher than those Decatur sissies," said one ficticious Bridgeport ISD official.

The Story Lone Star Bariatrics runs a full page ad in the Messenger in Wednesday's edition promoting their weight loss surgery. (Page 9A). In the Sunday edition, the surgeon gets a half page news article about the procedure. (Page 14A). 
News worthiness **
The Spin Coincidence? Aw, heck, it's Christmas. Sure it is. 

The Story Chico resident Jason Karp, 26, is sentenced to a life sentence in Parker County after robbing a Chicken Express last year.
 News worthiness *
The Spin "Hey, that place sells a heck of alot of chicken wings. Let's say we rob it and takes all that cash and grab up some Texas Toast while we're at it."

Special Highly Technical Research Project to be Conducted Throughout 2002: 
 New This Week
Year To Date
Number of new births announced in the Wise County Messenger
Number of new births announced by parents with different surnames (or no father identified): 
 6 (60%) 
175 (33%)

See something in the local papers that struck you funny?  Then suggest a topic for The Spin.

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