Wise County on the Web

A tongue in cheek review of the news published this week regarding Wise County.
Normally posted every Sunday around 10:00 p.m.
(Note: To make sure you are receiving the most recent update, hold down the "Shift" key while you click on reload/refresh).
For the week ending 03/16/02:

The Story	An eight year old Aurora girl receives 400 stitches after she is attacked by a German shepherd that she had played with before. "It hurt and I cried a little," the little girl said, "but I like dogs and I'm not going to be afraid of all them."
News worthiness (on a scale of 0 to 5)	********
The Spin	None of us would blame you if you never so much as looked at a puppy again.

The Story	Decatur City Councilman Joe Lambert declared "it's time for a change" and filed to become the town's mayor. Incumbent Bobby Wilson has held the position for the last 18 years.
News worthiness	*******
The Spin	Was that the explosion we heard this week?

The Story	Don Younger surprises James Hubbard by winning the county commissioner's seat for Precinct 2 by a total of 566-356.
News worthiness	**
The Spin	There must have been 210 potholes somewhere in the precinct.

The Story	The Decatur High School mock trial team earns the right to compete at the state meet.
News worthiness	**
The Spin	Great. The number of lawyers was getting a little slim so some new ones need to be groomed.

The Story	The State declares that it will investigate Kids Kastle Day Care in Paradise where three small children allegedly wandered away from the facility and close to highway 114 on February 12, 2002.
News worthiness	********
The Spin	The lead investigator, Dr. Laura, will probably place blame on the parents.

The Story	The new Pizza Hut in Decatur nears completion. One of the new amenities will be "an entertainment area with a television."
News worthiness	*
The Spin	The plan to call it a "living room".

**Special Highly Technical Research Project to be Conducted Throughout 2002:**
	New This Week	Year To Date
Number of new births announced in the Wise County Messenger	8	113
Number of new births announced by parents with different surnames (or no father identified):	0 (0%) (First time this year)	34 (30%)

See something in the local papers that struck you funny? Then suggest a topic for The Spin.

View Last week's issue.