| The Story | Careflight considers having a helicopter base in Decatur. |
| News worthiness (on a scale of 0 to 5) | *** |
| The Spin | May we suggest placing it as close to 380 as possible. You will then be able to pick up the majority of your passengers without even having to be airborne. |
| The Story | The Pastor of the Covenant Presbyterian Church of Decatur writes a letter to the editor blaming America's problems on two major groups: "the Democrats and the Democrats who call themselves Republicans." |
| News worthiness | * |
| The Spin | Only recently did we learn that Jesus proclaimed the same thing in the Sermon on the Mount. (It was right after that "Love thy neighbor" thing). |
| The Story | The Wise County Sheriff's Office will hold a "Going Away" party for crime and drugs on August 7, 2001. |
| News worthiness | * |
| The Spin | Man, that was easy. |
| The Story | In the "Pet Talk" section of the Messenger, it is reported that the FDA has approved two new drugs to help dogs with depression and "separation anxiety" from their owners. |
| News worthiness | * |
| The Spin | Isn't there a child living in poverty somewhere who needs immunization? |
| The Story | Kasi Kelly of Bridgeport wins Miss Texas USA. |
| News worthiness | **** |
| The Spin | The City of Decatur, rocked by the news, immediately offers Ms. Kelly one year's free food from any of the town's thirty fast food restaurants. "If she moves over here then we can claim her as one of our own. In a worst case scenario, at least she might down a few Quarter Pounders With Cheese that will put a few pounds on her. That will at least prevent her from winning any more pageants for Bridgeport. Either way, it's a win-win situation," said one anonymous source close to the Decatur City Council. |