A (sometimes) tongue in cheek review of the news published this week regarding Wise County.
Normally posted every Sunday around 6:00 p.m.
(Note: To make sure you are receiving the most recent update, hold down the "Shift" key while you click on reload/refresh).
For the week ending 12/2/00:
The Story A Wise County Sheriff's Office vehicle hydroplaned on Highway 380 and, according to SO spokesperson David Walker, "after hitting a few culverts and some highway signs, the patrol car came to rest on its side".
News worthiness (on a scale of 0 to 5) ***
The Spin Deputy Buford T. Justice was not seriously injured.

The Story The Bridgeport Police Chief announced to the city council that "I conducted a survey in which 62 percent of drivers are wearing their seat belts and 48 percent are not. We hope . . . to increase compliance to 75 percent". (Bridgeport Index p. 3A)
News worthiness *
The Spin Leaving, obviously,  35 percent still in violation.

The Story Rhome resident Joe Cole writes in a letter to the editor that it is "obscene" that Northwest ISD wants to spend $20 million on a football stadium.
News worthiness **
The Spin We agree. That money could better be spent on one year's salary for shortstop Alex Rodriguez. 

The Story Sixteen year old Pablo Lara was stabbed with a buck knife at a "quinceanera" dance at the Armory in Decatur. "Police reports said that the victim suffered a penetrating wound to the lower left quadrant of his abdomen with eviseration [sic] and was taken by private automobile to Decatur Community Hospital"
News worthiness ***
The Spin To answer your questions: (1) evisceration means "disembowel" and (2) a quinceanera dance is a "coming of age ritual" to celebrate a girl turning fifteen years of age. What a lovely combination.

The Story The Wise County Extension Service released the results of a survey identifying the top four problems facing the county: "substance abuse, water quality, sexual irresponsibility and quality services in rural areas".
News worthiness *
The Spin So that explains why my wife always gets home at 4:00 o'clock in the morning, glassy eyed, and holding a bottle of Ozarka. Now if I could only find a marriage counselor out here in the country.

See something in the local papers that struck you funny?  Then suggest a topic for The Spin.

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