The Spin
A tongue in cheek review of the news published this week regarding Wise County.
Normally posted every Sunday around 10:00 p.m.
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For the week ending 12/3/05:

The Story Skateboarders are now banned from the courthouse square in Decatur.
News worthiness (on a scale of 0 to 5) *
The Spin "This is so crazy that I'm calling," said one skater boy. "They can charge us with a crime for just exercising our constitutional right to pursue happiness and catch some air? This is outrageous, egregious, and preposterous."

The Story In an incredibly slow news week, the Messenger runs an article on  "old-time beautician" Rosa Wilson.  "The smell of permanent solution hits as you walk through the door of the small rock building."
News worthiness *
The Spin Sorry, we just had a flashback. There is no worse of an odor than that of "permanent solution."

The Spin Wise County will establish a Teen Court for first time teen offenders charged with Class C misdemeanors.
News worthiness **
The Spin The first set of teens were very confused by the concept that the government actually had to prove the charge that was made against them. One kid charged with Driving While Being Considered a Punk By The Cops said  "Uh, the skater boy down the street told me that you're guilty if you were put on trial. This stuff is so, like, confusing."

The Spin A bridge on 718 (which is widely known as connecting Newark to Tater Junction) will be repaired causing the highway to be shut down "for most of next year".
News worthiness **
The Spin For most of the year?  What is this? The Dallas High Five project?

The Story  The Salvation Army is recruiting Bells Ringers for its annual fund raising at businesses in Decatur, most notably, Walmart.
News worthiness *
The Spin "We are also recruiting homeless people as well," said on fictitious Salvation Army spokesman. "We realize that most people will chose a different entrance if they see us to avoid feeling guilt for not putting any money in the bell ringer's pot. So we'll station a desperate homeless looking person begging at the other entrance. That way, we'll get more traffic at the bell ringer's entrance. It's a path of least resistance sort of thing. Merry Christmas."

See something in the local papers that struck you funny?  Then suggest a topic for The Spin.

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